Lessons Never Learned
by spacegypsy1
Summary: Series of oneshots. Well, Daniel never learns from his mistakes and the Fruitcake can be instigative - Instigate: To cause trouble, especially by urging somebody to do something destructive or wrong. D/V. Humor, angst, romance, some bedtime stories.
1. Lesson One

**Lessons Never Learned – **

Spacegypsy1

**Lesson One – Always Assume the Worst!**

**Rated PG**!

Daniel cocked his head to and fro, bit his lip and studied the artifact with concentration. If someone had been watching from the doorway – which, by the way, she was – they would have seen the exited interest in his expression.

He left the work station, located his bag of tricks…oops, or rather, his archeology tools, pulled out the bundle, unrolled it, took a small pick and a brush and returned to begin scraping and brushing debris. He would scrape, brush and scrape some more.

"Well, I'll be…" Daniel brushed faster.

Vala's eyes widened and she grinned at his obvious delight as she quietly advanced upon her prey. When the dirty little thingie began to glow, she stopped, opened her mouth in awe, and tilted her head with a raised a brow.

"It's glowing!" Vala jumped as the object continued to glow exponentially.

Daniel flinched, "Damn it, Vala, quit sneaking up like that!"

She pulled her hands to her chest and grinned wickedly. "It's glowing."

"No, it's emitting light." He turned it off. "There."

"Hmm, maybe it was one of those messages like that little can robot thingie in Muscles' movie." She waited hopefully.

His glasses landed on the table next to the device. "Sure, and maybe it will start talking."

"Well, it could."

"As far as I know, there's really not that kind of sophisticated robot in the galaxies we've visited." His tone was patronizing and she glared.

"Cameron told me there are other robot yous…SG-1s; robot Daniel and …."

"Mitchell told you that?"

"Yes, he reads a lot; actually, way too much for my tastes, but that one was quite interesting."

Daniel turned back to the small artifact.

She moved closer and studied the relic. "Turn it on again, I want to see that light, I think I saw something in it."

"Are you kidding me?"

"No, Daniel, really, you were looking at me. I saw something."

"Here, hold this." When she grabbed the muck encrusted item he turned it back on. All of a sudden, their fingers began to fizzle with iridescence – then, like sparklers, it traveled up their arms leaving nothing visible in its wake.

"Oh crap, I can't turn it off."

"Well, Daniel, this is just perfect; no fingers, hands or arms to turn it off. How very nice!"

"It was your idea!"

Their bodies disappeared in a process of fizzles and sparks leaving only a tiny puff of smoke at the end.

"Great!"

"Yes, isn't it, darling? You do realize we can be naked and wander around and no one will know."

"Vala!"

"We can make love on the conference table, right in the middle of a very important meeting, probably about us missing or being invisible. Let's do that, Daniel, it will be such fun."

"This is serious."

"So am I!"

His eyes grew large in irritation, but she only smiled and started unbuttoning his shirt. "Fine, we do it here."

"Stop!"

"Oh, look, it's Sam and Cameron! They're looking for us. This is the most fun I've had in years." She continued to try and strip him as he continued to swat at her seemingly multi-armed attempts.

"Vala? Is that you?"

Vala swung around, hands out in surprise. "Sam?"

"Yes?"

"Can you see us?"

"No."

"Oh good!" Once again she started on her mission to undress her Daniel.

"Stop that! Hey, give me my shirt back!"

"Ah, Jackson?" Cam scanned the room, a look of unadulterated confusion on his face.

"WHAT!" Obviously he was not happy, and both Sam and Mitchell exchanged befuddled looks.

"What happened?" Sam was all seriousness.

"I… Stop that!...Ah, Sam it's the artifact it… Vala will you leave me alone, oh, not fair, put your shirt back on!"

"Jackson…Sam and I are gonna leave, we'll be back in thirty minutes…will that give you two enough time?" The obvious humor in his voice only incited Daniel more.

"Wait guys." He tried to gently shove Vala away. "Not now. Please… Vala! Damn it Vala, stop that! Holy buckets! Oh...ah... ah, damn. NO. Don't. Stop that! Can somebody please help me!!"

"I'm out of here." Sam left with Mitchell laughing uproariously behind her.


	2. Lesson Two

**Lessons Never Learned – **

Spacegypsy1

A/N: Somewhere in just about every story I write Daniel has his head down asleep on some table or desk…not this one.

**Lesson Two – Don't Bother Trying! A Bedtime story.**

**Rated just before an M for hanky-panky**

Daniel tried hard to out pace her. But really! Who could out pace Vala Mal Doran? He turned the corner, narrowly missing the wall, and hurried towards his quarters.

She barely took a breath in the onslaught of her tirade. Practiced at tuning her out he had no idea what she babbled about. Unfortunately it didn't take long for her voice to annoy him even if he had not a clue as to why she was bitching at him. Probably something he'd said to set her off.

But really, enough was enough. "Vala! It's late, I'm tired. Please shut up! I don't…."

She slammed the door in his face.

Now why did that piss him off? Hands clinched in his pockets, Daniel scowled, made a precision turn, and got no more than two steps before he realized she'd slammed his own door in his face.

Damned if it wasn't locked! Gathering some trope of normalcy he waited before swiping his card and entering. He wasn't the least bit surprised to find her in his bed, and even less surprised by the pile of BDU shirt and pants on the foot of the bed.

Grinning with evil delight, she waggled her brows.

He could not have been less impressed. "Humph!" Ignoring her, he snatched off his T-Shirt, unbuckled his belt, whipped it off and threw it across the room. To hell with her games!

She squeaked, and he didn't even flinch, just undid his pants and shucked out of them. He certainly longer harbored fear of this monster in or under his bed!

When he hazarded a glance at her she stared wide-eyed and open mouthed in confusion. With great effort, he held in the laugh that threatened to come out and pulled back the covers on the other side of his nemesis. Settling in with a sleepy sigh he grinned in her direction. She grinned back, just barely. Satisfaction washed over his tired body.

Daniel rolled to place his back to her, jammed a pillow under his weary head and muttered, "You know we could lose our jobs over this?"

"What?" She turned away from him, apparently, from the tone of voice piercing his brain, even more baffled.

"Fraternizing on base." He moved again, came to his back and finally to spoon into her.

"Your hand is on my bum!"

Ah, the hint of uncertainty in her voice, pure music to his ears. Reveling in victory, he continued. "Mmm, so it is. You better leave if you intend to remain a part of the SGC." Smiling at the back of her head, Daniel wished he'd confronted her long ago. He had her now, she would think twice about this next time!

"You're no fun!" Vala tossed the covers aside and stood.

"Hmm." He confiscated the space she'd just abandoned as pride swelled in his chest.

Suddenly she changed her mind, tossed her hair, and literally crawled over him to the other side.

Okay, maybe he had miscalculated. He flipped over to face the door, away from her, and noticed her bra as it sailed over him onto the floor. Not good. It took a few minutes to gather his courage but finally he wiggled around under the covers and threw his boxers on top of her bra.

A serious, surprised gasp followed from Vala, and this time he truly thought he had won.

Then she muttered "oh," in a throaty whisper that was a bit more than he bargained for.

She lifted her hips and began to rid herself of her panties.

A defeated sigh escaped and before he could stop himself he spoke, low and husky, "Please, let me." He tucked his thumbs into the wispy fabric and squelched the little voice in his head mocking him.

"Daniel!" Delighted, Vala managed to get her arms around his neck.

_Oh, hell, how did I get myself into this? Oh, hell, I don't care!_


	3. Lesson Three

**Lessons Never Learned – **

Spacegypsy1

**Lesson Three - Don't Touch That! Another Bedtime Story**

Rated PG.

Hand held to the gauze in the crook of his elbow as instructed, Daniel looked off into space. Vala, legs swinging, sat on the infirmary bed staring at Daniel.

The lab tech returned the instruments to his case, labeled the vial of blood and with a quick grin in Vala's direction, left.

"I told you not to touch it." Smugness dripped like syrup from Vala's lips.

Breathing through flared nostrils, he didn't take the bait, instead watched the door for Dr. Lam's return.

"Mitchell told you not to touch it." She hopped down and began to fiddle with the med supplies on the tray beside him.

"Speaking of Mitchell, why don't you go see what he's doing?" Daniel folded his arm up, trapping the gauze.

She handed him his glasses. "Someone has to keep an eye on you. You might fall out and…"

"I doubt he will 'fall out'; the preliminary tests are fine. We'll have the blood test back in a few hours. Go have dinner and come back here at 1930 hours." Carolyn snatched the hemostats that Vala was playing with, from her hands. "But you can keep an eye on him for me."

Daniel's eyes narrowed towards the doctor. "I'm fine. It didn't even knock me out; I've had a lot worse."

"I know." Carolyn frowned and pointed to the door. "I'm tempted to keep you for observation, but I know better." Sighing in defeat, Carolyn slammed her pen light in her pocket and rubbed her tired neck. "You can go."

Vala grinned happily and followed Daniel out.

"Leave me be." Hands deep in his pockets, he hurried down the hall.

"I'll just walk you to your quarters."

"I'm going home."

"No you're not, she won't let you. She'll win that one. I so admire her authority. She can even make General Landry do what she wants. I should have been a doctor."

His scowl didn't faze her. When he reached his door his features softened, and he told her goodnight and thanked her for her concern.

With a quirky raise of her brows and an adoring smile she 'window washer' waved him goodnight.

The door closed and as she slid down, her back against the metal barrier, Vala sat on the floor.

She was almost asleep when the door slowly opened.

"You're not going to leave are you?"

"I'm quite comfortable, thank you, darling."

He left the door open and returned to bed as she wandered into the room. Listening to the rustle of clothing he sighed, "Vala!"

"Well, I can't sleep in my boots, pants and jacket!"

He turned over towards the wall, punched his pillow and sighed again.

She snuggled under his covers, her back to him. He didn't have to look at her to know she was grinning and he smiled, and drifted off to sleep.

The instant she heard his soft snore, Vala quietly turned and moved against him, her cheek pressed softly to the back of his shoulder, as she fell asleep.


	4. Lesson Four

**Lessons Never Learned – **

Spacegypsy1

**Lesson Four – Never Give Up**

**No Warnings- No Beds - Rated G**

"General, I need a title or rank." Vala blurted out from his doorway.

General Landry had to control the flinch of surprise, "Excuse me?"

Daniel appeared behind her, obviously battle worn. With a shrug and an apologetic look towards the General, he held his position in the corridor.

"Well, Cameron and Samantha are Colonels, and Daniel's a Doctor…and Teal'c's a Jaffa Master, and, well, I'm just Vala Mal Doran. I'd like a title."

Landry looked at the woman with amazement. "A title?"

"Yes, Sir, please. I've been thinking…" She moved into the room to settle herself in a chair in front of his desk and pulled a sheet of paper from her pocket. Clearing her throat she began to read. "Major Mal Doran would be nice. After all I am a major contributor to the team."

_Major Pain in the Ass? _Landry inserted mentally, with a barely perceivable pleading look at Dr. Jackson.

"Master Weaponress."

Daniel rolled his eyes.

Landry sighed. _A_ _Kernel of Foolishness?_

"Doctor of Alienology. Dr. Mal Doran, one of my favorites, after all, Universities can bestow a doctorate if they want to, so I figured you could."

_Doctor Strangelove?_

"Captain Courageous! Ha ha, just kidding." Vala turned to smile giddily at Daniel before turning back to the General. "General Negotiator."

_General Nuisance? _

"Treasure Coordinator?" She offered hopefully with a worried frown at General Landry, who hadn't spoken another word.

"Miss Mal Doran, while you are in fact a very capable and vital team member, I am not at liberty to bestow any title on you. Dr. Jackson, as well as Colonels Mitchell and Carter, have worked and studied and trained many years for the titles they have. Teal'c is…we don't call him Jaffa Teal'c or Master Teal'c; he's just Teal'c, and you are Vala Mal Doran of SG-1. Let's leave it at that, shall we? Besides, you have a title." Landry stood, indicating this little meeting was over.

"I do?" She grinned expectantly.

"Princess." Landry indicated the door.

Vala, disappointment obvious, took the cue and rose from her chair pouting. "I'll think up something you can agree with; Daniel will help." She moved to Daniel's side, "Won't you, Darling?"

Jerking his thumb towards the corridor, Daniel shooed her out and shut the door. "I'm sorry Sir; this has been going on for weeks. I tried to keep her at bay, but she insisted."

Beleaguered, the General took his seat, "I don't envy you, Dr. Jackson."

"No one does, Sir." Daniel was grinning a bit foolishly.

The General spoke without breaking a smile. "I'd like to suggest a title."

"Sir?"

"Mrs."

Eyes closing, Daniel dropped his head suddenly nervous. "On the same team, Sir?"

"I've approved your request, with Colonel Mitchell's support. But you're due in Washington for a meeting with Jack and the President."

"Oh. Jack. Not good."

"Hmm, I think you might be surprised. His email only said that you never learn your lessons, but he had a feeling you were about to. Dismissed."

"Yes Sir, thank you, General."

Daniel opened the door to find Vala leaning indolently against the opposite wall.

Vala, put off by his happy grin - as though he thought the whole thing foolish - crossed her arms defiantly. "Well! I don't suppose you two came to any conclusion, and I'm just Vala Mal Doran still. I really, really want a title. I deserve it."

Daniel took her hand and led her down the hallway. "I think we might have found one."

"OH! What? What is it? Is it good? Something better than Princess? Something like yours or Cameron's. Daniel?" She was being dragged along the corridor behind him. "Slow down. What is it? Does it come with a patch or some kind of adornment? I'd love that!"

"Yeah, some adornment may be forthcoming."

She tried to drag him to a stop, unsuccessfully. "Where are we going?"

"To see Jack."

"Why? Will he ceremoniously adorn me!?" She was so excited she could barely contain herself.

Stopping, he took her jaw in his free hand and smacked a kiss on her pouting lips then continued on, pulling her behind him. "No. I'll do the adorning. We're going to thank him."

"Oh." Vala squeezed his hand still reeling from his kiss, as he towed her along. "What kind of adornment will it be? A medal? Pin? Patch? One of those adorable little colored bars like Samantha's? Is it small? Is it shiny?" Skipping merrily behind him she rattled on. "Can I wear it out in public? It's not puppy-dog tags is it? I have those. Will others have one like it? …I'd like to compare. But then, again, it'd be nice to be special. Is it…"


	5. Lesson Five

Lessons Never Learned –

**Lessons Never Learned – **

Spacegypsy1

**Lesson Five – You Should Know Better! – Another bedtime story - in a different bed.**

**Warning - Rated, PG15 or 16…maybe 17! **

The conference room was empty except for Daniel and Vala. The briefing had been short, to the point, and did not go well for him. However, the team had gotten a good laugh out of it. Daniel sulked, gathering his papers - refusing to even look at her. He knew that the grin she wore beamed like a Goa'uld hand device and would knock him right out of his chair.

"Agent Barrett seems quite nice."

"Yep." Daniel stacked his research, reluctant to leave, because the minute he stood up the mission would begin.

"It's exciting isn't it? I mean finding the last of your rogue Trust people. Hopefully, the last of all the Goa'uld here on Earth." She stood over him now, and he could feel her exhilaration like a nuclear blast. "What's a commercial flight like? I've never been on one."

Standing, documents in hand, he turned to leave and shot back over his shoulder. "They have very strict luggage rules!"

"Oh, how very disturbing." She dashed out after him, yelling. "What's Mis-er-sipie like?"

"It's Mississippi."

"That's what I said."

xxxxxx

Things could not have gotten any worse.

First, the airline lost their luggage. And then at the motel, with Vala's elbow locked with his, he had no choice but to voice the dreaded words. "You have a reservation for…for…ah, Mr. and Mrs. Simpson?"

But the most awful part came when he found out the only room available had one bed.

"Daniel?" Her twinkling eyes were on the bed.

"Ach! Don't say it. Don't say anything."

She tossed her large leather purse on the mattress and followed it, face down in a pout.

An hour later she came and perched herself on his lap. "Can't we go do something?"

"This is not a vacation. It's a stake-out."

"Not until tomorrow, it's not. I'm hungry."

He scowled. "I'll order in."

"What's on television?"

"I have no idea. But keep it down; I have work to do. Get up."

Vala stood up, glaring at his briefcase, then the stack of papers he had on the table. _Of course he didn't check them!_

xxxxxx

By midnight she'd watched three hours of Soap Opera reruns, eaten the rest of the leftover pizza, another bag of chips, and all the cookies. He was exhausted.

"I'm bored."

"Go to bed."

"You coming?"

_No way! _"I'm going to finish this first."

"I'm going to take a shower. Daniel?"

"What!"

"I need to go shopping."

A loud puff of breath escaped him. "It's late; it's a small town. Nothing is open."

"Their Wal-Mart is open twenty-four hours. I checked."

"We're not leaving this room."

"Well, then, fine. I'll just sleep naked."

His head dropped, and he squeezed his eyes shut in an effort to block out the image. "Sleep in your clothes."

"I can't, they're tight, I'll be up all night!"

His eyes opened to study her. Tight leather short skirt, skimpy red lacy top, and leather knee boots. And god knows what under there. He stood. Removing his jacket, Daniel unbuttoned his blue checkered shirt and tossed it to her, silently berating himself for not wearing a T-shirt underneath.

"Thank you, Darling."

He put his jacket back on to block her perusal of his chest and pointed towards the bathroom.

Vala grinned, hugged the shirt to her, and scampered off.

Setting his glasses on the bedside table, Daniel pitched his jacket into a chair, removed his belt, boots and socks, and crawled under the covers, pulling them as high as they would go. No way in hell would he take his pants off!

He knew her habits well; she'd be in there an hour at least and he didn't plan on being awake when she came out. After all, he wasn't completely immune to a skimpily-clad Vala Mal Doran! Truth be known, he wasn't quite immune to a fully clothed one, either. Tucking the covers as tight as he could, he closed his eyes, placed his hands behind his head and slept.

xxxxx

Wearing only his shirt, and drying her hair with a towel, Vala entered the dimly lit room.

Dropping the towel on the back of a chair, she tiptoed to the bed and looked down at him. He had both pillows under his head and the covers pulled up to his armpits. "Daniel?"

Looking peaceful, relaxed in sleep, he wore an adorable smile on his slightly parted lips. She tested him again. "Daniel?"

Slowly she settled on the bed, sitting beside him. Vala leaned close and kissed his cheek. When he didn't move, she kissed his jaw. Biting her lip she pulled back slightly, contemplating her next move. "Daniel?" She crooked her head just right and, like butterfly wings, she grazed his mouth.

Sitting up, Vala glanced around the room as if searching to see if the coast was clear. Eyes still averted from her target she called a bit more loudly, "Daniel?"

Turning back, one hand very lightly touched his shoulder. In the silence of the room, her movements, as she lowered her mouth to his, seemed like a cannon shot. She hesitated briefly before once again dipping to taste forbidden fruit.

Daniel felt the warm, moist kiss, and his eyes opened in slow motion. Without thinking he reacted, responding to the kiss, his hands coming into her hair.

His tongue made the first foray. Pulling her across, he rolled with her, taking her to her back. He deepened the kiss. Her arms locked around his neck. She moaned. He growled. She arched, he countered.

Trapped in the covers, he kicked to free himself. She threw her leg over his hip. His hand went to her bare leg and he nearly cried out. She did. Resourceful, he freed his body from the barrier. She freed her body from his shirt.

Then Mitchell called.

"Hey, Jackson, you two are scrubbed. We're goin' to plan B. Someone just crawled out of the woodwork that might recognize you. Everybody's in place, so you two have a flight home tomorrow out of Keesler Air Force Base in Biloxi. See ya when we get back."

She hadn't given up one inch of space when he'd answered the call. He tossed the phone out somewhere in the room. She feared he had come to his senses. In a way, he had. He grinned. She beamed.

"We're scrubbed." He kissed her collar bone.

"Good." She sucked at his neck.

"You love me?" He bit her.

"Mmm, very. You?" She bit him back.

"Mmm, very."


	6. Lesson Six

Lessons Never Learned –

**Lessons Never Learned – **

Spacegypsy1

**Lesson Six – Never Underestimate an Astrophysicist's Power of Deduction, Especially When She's Got a Jaffa for Backup! **

**No Warnings**

"I'm worried."

Sam looked up in concern. "Why?"

"They're not arguing anymore." Mitchell sat down across from her.

Relieved, Sam continued with her blue Jell-O. "Oh. That. I noticed. They're finally getting along, why would you worry?"

"Umm, not sure."

"Perhaps ValaMalDoran has calmed down, and DanielJackson has calmed up."

Sam pointed her spoon at Teal'c, chewing faster so she could speak. "I noticed that, too!" It still came out a little warbled from a mouth half full of Jell-O.

Leaning his chair back on two legs, Mitchell nodded. "Maybe. You don't think they're...I mean, they sure seem to be gettin' a bit cozy."

"ValaMalDoran has been seen spending time with MajorSpencer."

The chair legs came down. "Okay, true."

"And Daniel's been spending a lot of time in Carrie Butler's lab." Suddenly intrigued, Sam pushed her Jell-O aside.

"Who?"

"Dr. Butler. She works with Bill Lee."

"Oh, her. Cute one." Mitchell took Sam's cup and finished it.

"Why would you worry about them, ColonelMitchell?"

"Well, homeboy, I don't think it'd be a good idea if those two were…well, ya know."

"I do not."

"I think somethin's up. Why all of a sudden are they all nicey-nice, and both of them supposedly seein' somebody?"

Sam's brows furrowed and she eyed Mitchell. "I never thought about it like that."

"Yep."

"What do you suspect?" Teal'c studied his companions.

"I think they're coverin' their tracks."

"Oh. Didn't Vala accompany him to Washington a few months ago?" Sam seemed to be concentrating, her gaze off into the distance.

"Yep. Four days."

"And he took her to see her father on P3X-445." Frowning, Sam looked at her empty cup.

"Yep, two days."

"They accompanied me to visit Rya'c and Kar'yn last month. I was busy; they explored."

"Yeah, I just bet they did. There's two more days."

"It was three days, ColonelMitchell."

The implications that started to calculate in her scientific mind had Sam's eyes widening in astonishment. "And we lost contact with them on PC8-923."

Teal'c rested his forearms on the table. "Did our radios not also have interference?"

"Twelve hours, man. They were out there twelve hours. They knew where we were." Mitchell had his arms crossed and eyes squinting.

"Indeed. But the Stargate was malfunctioning, and you had sent them off to the ruins."

"Yep…twelve hours in a hot, crumbled temple; not even Jackson can do that."

The three looked from one to the other, all not sure if that statement held any truth.

Sitting quietly a moment, Teal'c laced his fingers. "Wednesday, I dropped off ValaMalDoran at the mall."

"And?" Sam prompted.

"DanielJackson left right before we did and returned shortly before I left to pick her up. This indeed is a mystery."

"There ya go!"

"Am I mistaken or did DoctorButler not previously date MajorSpencer?"

"She DID!" Sam nearly choked on her water. "That's what they're doing!"

"What?" Confused, Mitchell blinked from Sam to Teal'c.

Teal'c bowed slightly. "ColonelCarter, you are most correct! It is a tactical maneuver used by many Jaffa long ago to confuse their false gods."

"Doin' what!?" Voice rough with irritation, Mitchell slapped his hands on the table.

Sam scooted her chair closer, lowering her voice. "Spencer and Butler had been seeing each other. But, rumor has it that Davidson wasn't too happy about it. She's up for a transfer to the Odyssey. Raymond Spencer's transfer to the ship already went through. He's scheduled to leave in week or two."

Relaxing a bit, Mitchell grinned in relief. "Okay, so you're thinkin' that Jackson and Vala are just coverin' for them?"

"NO!" Both Sam and Teal'c blurted out at once.

"Just a cotton pickin' minute here, what the hell's goin' on?" Mitchell thought he had this all figured out, and now he was totally confused.

Calmly and with a hint of a smile, Teal'c answered. "Both couples are covering for each other."

"Jackson and Vala are a couple!?" Mitchell shot out of his chair, and then looked around. He settled back down grateful that the only other occupant in the commissary, the night cook, appeared to be totally disinterested.

"Shh!!" Sam frowned at Mitchell. She turned to Teal'c. "You know, I think they just might be married."

Like a rocket, Mitchell was out of his chair again. "Jackson and …!!"

"Cam! Sit down! Spencer and Butler. It all makes sense now."

This time, Mitchell's brows rose. "Sense? How the hell do you get any sense out of this? And really, I don't give a rat's ass about Spencer and Butler." He dropped his head on the table a moment, then popping up, he yelled again. "Jackson and Vala? A couple!?" He groaned. "Nothin' my Gran'maw ever said can help us now!"

The other two glared and then all three of them looked around. The commissary was completely empty.

xxxxxx

"Miss Vala?"

Smiling, Vala waved, palm up, "Hi!"

The woman hurried into the office and Daniel barely gave her a curious glance.

"Girl, you got some trouble!"

"What trouble?"

"You and that man of yours!" The woman pointed her finger back and forth.

Daniel finally looked up to find the cook's finger in his face. "Me?"

"Yeah, you. Those teammates you two are so fond of?"

"What?" Daniel pulled his face away from the accusing finger.

The cook lowered her voice. "They figured you two and the other two out. Damn but that woman is smart! And that alien, 'scuse me Miss Vala, but I know things, and that alien ain't dumb either."

Vala's eyes widened and with jaw dropped and mouth open she turned to Daniel.

"Damage control!" He pointed across the room. "You call Butler, I'll call Spencer!"

Vala rushed to the wall phone, while Daniel began dialing his cell phone.

Vala punched the numbers as she spoke. "Mrs. Etheridge, thank you. Will you go keep an eye on them?"

The cook nodded and rushed out.

xxxxxx

By the time Mrs. Etheridge ran into commissary, completely out of breath, the sight before her brought her to a sudden stop. She huffed, slamming her hands on her hips. Damn if that Doctor and that Major didn't walk in hand and hand. The two jumped apart when they spotted the rest of SG-1.

That rascal Colonel moaned as if in pain, and thumped his head on the table again, this time repeatedly. The other two reacted with a grin. _Nuts, the whole lot of 'em are nuts._

xxxxxx

"I can't get an answer." Vala was panicking.

"Me either. Damn!" Daniel threw his phone on the desk.

"We should lock the door."

"Sam can open it in three point two seconds."

"Daniel, this is all your fault!"

"ME!?"

"Yes, you and your suddenly wandering hands and mouth on that trip to Washington!"

"You were in my bed! Practically…you know." With a groan he set his glasses on the desk and sat down, shaking his head with trepidation.

A brow arched. "What, practically what?" She moved into his personal space, taking up her usual seat on his lap.

He inhaled her scent. His voice lowered, whispered in her ear. The wall phone began to ring. But they blocked it out as his lips slid into their favorite place.

xxxxxx

Mrs. Etheridge was beside herself with worry. She slammed the phone down. No way was she gonna chase after that smart lady, that alien and that sass-mouthed Colonel down those long halls.

She eyed the two sitting stunned in the corner. "I got fresh pie. I think you're gonna need it."


	7. Lesson Seven

**Lessons Never Learned – **

Spacegypsy1

**Lesson Seven – Never Open Email When You Suspect A Virus!**

**No Warnings**

He had fifteen emails, and for some bizarre reason he chose to open the one from her first.

_Darling. What are you doing?_

_Working._

He opened the one from Jack.

_Have you heard from Carter?_

_Nope._

General Landry's took up pages, but the last line was all he really cared about.

_Colonel Carter said to tell you hi, she misses you._

Mitchell's irked him.

_Jackson, I still don't have those reports on the …. _He closed that one.

Daniel waded through the other important ones before returning to another one of Vala's.

_I'm bidding on a time-share in Costa Rica, you want go?_

_You know, if you got every time-share you bid on, you'd be broke…that means without money._

He tried to open to the next email but an IM popped up.

_I'm using your American Express card._

_Figures._

_Will you go, darling? It looks like I'm winning!_

_Vala, I'm working. And no._

_Too late! We leave tomorrow._

_Ha! Not me. Take Teal'c_

_Okay._

He stared at the blinking cursor. It continued to blink and blink.

_Vala?_

_Blink. Blink. Blink. Blink._

_You're kidding, right?_

_Blink. Blink. Blink. Blink._

Daniel grabbed his wallet and opened it to find the American Express slot empty. He took off running.

He found Vala and Teal'c in Sam's old lab where Vala had set up shop.

"DanielJackson, ValaMalDoran has invited me to accompany her to Costa Rica. I had planned on visiting Ry'ac; however, I am now considering this vacation in our down time. She tells me you decided not to escort her after having paid for this trip."

Daniel nodded to Teal'c, then glared at Vala, palm open.

With a silly grin, Vala placed the credit card in his palm. "Muscles offered to pay half, if he decides to go. It's non-refundable, so that will pay you back for your share."

Teal'c hid the smile that threatened to overtake is face. Anyone else who observed these two in their private war would only see DanielJackson's agitation and ValaMalDoran's calculating grin. Teal'c saw something more in the exchange. And though these two appeared to be antagonists, he witnessed the subtle difference. DanielJackson would soon capitulate to ValaMalDoran's guile.

Teal'c bowed towards Vala. "I have decided that it would be unwise to accompany you, as I have already contacted Ry'ac and he is expecting me. Perhaps DanielJackson will change his mind and join you." Hesitating, Teal'c added. "DanielJackson, you have invested a great deal into this; it may be prudent to enjoy that which you have set in motion." At the door Teal'c turned back, "After all, life is too short."

With matching quizzical frowns, the two turned to the doorway, finding it empty. Daniel took a seat on a stool. "I miss Sam."

"Me too. We can drown our misery in tropical drinks, volcanoes and rain forests. What do you say?"

"Sure, but you're going to pay me back for your share."

"Not likely."

Daniel quirked up his brows, tilted his head, and shrugged in acquiesce.

Vala poked his cheek with a finger, "I'm going to pack!"

"Hmm, me too." He watched her leave, yelling out, "No leather, and not that damned red bikini either!"

"Fine, I'll swim naked!' She called back.

His head dropped with a weary sigh. "I think I've caught a bug; I don't feel so well."


	8. Lesson Eight

Lessons Never Learned –

**Lessons Never Learned – **

Spacegypsy1

**Lesson Eight – Don't Mumble – Remember Little Princesses Have Big Ears!**

**No warnings and infirmary beds don't count**

Amidst the fire fight, as was their habit of late, Daniel and Vala exchanged a very private look. Each secretly knew it could well be a prelude to good-bye.

Daniel hunkered down to reload and caught Mitchell's signal to move off to the left. He stared at Vala a few seconds before she turned to him. He pointed to Mitchell and moved to flank their attackers.

Mitchell gestured. Vala nodded, waited for Cam's cover fire and leapt to the right, then scurried in Teal'c's direction.

The last time he had a second or two to look, Daniel could not find her, but dismissed any thoughts and continued to blast away with his P-90.

xxxxxx

Deadly calm settled with the stench of weapons and blood. Cautiously, four members of SG-1 came together.

"Where's Vala?" Daniel looked at Teal'c since he knew she'd headed in his direction.

"ValaMalDoran did not accompany me."

"Spread out. We'll find her." Mitchell barked out.

"Vala!!" Each team member called her name, carefully searching.

"Here! I found something." Sam turned to see the others rush to her side. She looked down, her toe boot pointing.

"Oh my god." Daniel leaned down and picked up the small tiara. Hand trembling, he looked at the others, face pale and drawn. Frantic, he shouted her name. "Vala!"

"WHAT!" Vala sat straight up from a pile of leaves.

Daniel snatched her up…so livid he didn't hear her yelp of pain. "Don't you EVER do that again!" There was enough venom in his voice to get a harsh glare from Mitchell and Sam.

"DanielJackson, ValaMalDoran appears to be injured." Teal'c laid a hand on his friend's wrist.

Letting go, Daniel took a breath as he stepped back, appalled by his actions.

"Darling," She said weakly, "It's nice to know you care. I had to hide, or else be killed…or worse." Vala's eyes closed slowly and she pitched forward in a faint.

xxxxxx

Dr. Lam came into the corridor and met the onslaught of questions. "Hold on! Daniel, she's fine." Moving around the doctor, Daniel headed for the doorway, but Carolyn backed up and blocked him. "Not now."

"Why not?" His voice, coated with worry, still held a note of disapproval.

"Because I sedated her. She'll sleep for hours, she needs rest. All of you are scheduled for a post-mission exam. After that we'll see."

Mitchell let out a long held breath as Teal'c bowed in understanding. Sam took Daniel's arm to pull him away.

"Can I just see her?" he almost begged.

Arms crossed, the doctor shook her head and stated emphatically, "No, not now. After your post-mission."

xxxxxx

Sitting on the exam table, Daniel barely said a word to the Med Tech as she finished his exam.

Carolyn peered at him from the doorway, and he looked up when she moved into the room. "Alright, Daniel, I don't want you parking yourself in there all night. I know how you guys are. She'll most likely sleep 'til morning, but you can go in now. Please don't wake her."

"No. I won't. But she'll be okay?"

"Definitely. A little sore, but I'll probably release her tomorrow."

"Thank you."

xxxxxx

The nurse adjusted the IV drip, smiled at Daniel, and left. He settled into the chair beside the bed, opened his book and stared unseeing at the page. Vala slept on her side facing away from him, so he put the book down, removed his glasses and closed his eyes. When she whimpered he stood to peek over the bed at her.

With a gentle hand he tucked her hair behind her ear, then sat on the edge of the bed facing away. Chin dropping to his chest, he thought about losing her. The old adage popped into his tired mind. _'Tis better to have loved and lost than never have loved at all. _He knew first hand the truth of those words.

Easing himself from the bed he removed his jacket, hung it on the back of the chair and sat, taking off his boots and propping his feet against the side of the mattress.

He nodded off for at least an hour before her mumbling woke him. He jumped up, wide awake, to find the nurse checking the readings on the monitor.

"She's doing great." The nurse whispered. "I'm going to turn the lights down; I probably won't be back in for a few hours. She's doing so well - we'll monitor her from the desk. Goodnight, Dr. Jackson."

As soon as Vala settled, he walked around the bed looking down at her. There certainly was more color to her face now, and she seemed to sleep peacefully. Daniel ran a knuckle across her cheek before he returned to his post. He read, not comprehending anything, but he read on to keep his mind from torturous thoughts.

Occasionally she would flinch or moan and he'd hop up and wait until she settled down again. This last time, she seemed to call his name. He sat gingerly on the side of the bed, arm across her to rest his hand for support on the mattress. He watched her sleeping and she said his name again. Heart racing with emotion, he blinked and looked away.

Sighing, disheartened, Daniel remained perched on the bed, shoulders slumped in uncertainty. "You know," he whispered into the room, "you scared the hell out of me. I've…I've come to really care about you. I mean, you know, like…like a member of the team. I guess I overreacted. I didn't know you were hurt. God, Vala, I don't want to lose you. I mean, I don't want to lose anyone." He yawned, closed his eyes and listened to her breathe.

He must have drifted off, because he woke with a start, half lying on her bed. He sat up and checked to make sure she was still sleeping, before he started mumbling again. "Well, I guess, really, you could say that I actually, really, maybe, like you more than…well not really more, well maybe, no not really more. Like different. I lo...like you a lot differently, like in a totally different way than I like them…the others. You're…ah…." He waited expectantly as Vala turned to her back. When she quieted, he smoothed her hair and sat again in the chair, this time pulling it close beside the bed. "Well. Actually, okay…actually…" He started fiddling with her hand. "I do like you a lot. I care about you. You're special and…I guess I probably love you. I think. Well, I love you. Like I love Sam and Teal'c and I like Mitchell…" He yawned again, exhausted. "I love you. Probably a little more than Sam and Teal'c. Differently, that is…and more…" His words trailed off as he fell asleep.

There was an evenness to his breath when Vala very slowly inched herself over to face him. She watched him sleeping. "I care about you, Daniel; I love you, too."

His eyes opened suddenly, and he smiled. Standing, he placed a light kiss on her parted lips. Softly she kissed him back. Vala's eyes met his as his hand took her face, thumb caressing her cheek. Both sets of eyes just stared, then they grinned and once again, their lips met.

His voice spoke with a low tenor, husky with sleep. "Maybe we could try this. You know, you and me?"

"Yes. That would be nice."

"Tomorrow," he said, amidst a yawn, taking her hand again. Daniel lowered himself to the chair and laid his head on her bed.

"Mmm, tomorrow." Her eyes fluttered, then closed, as her other hand came to rest on his head.


	9. Lesson Nine

**Lessons Never Learned – **

Spacegypsy1

**Lesson Nine – And You Expected Her to Be Quiet?**

**No Warnings **

"Sam, what the hell just happened?" Cameron Mitchell looked around the deserted Gateroom.

Flabbergasted, Sam studied the covered equipment and the quiet, blinking alert light.

"Perhaps it was another solar flare; however, this seems to be the future rather than the past, ColonelMitchell."

"Man, that is just too cool! I've waited a long time for time-travel!"

A gray haired woman entered, and it took the three a moment to realize it was Vala.

"Well, isn't this interesting! Daniel will be amused."

Teal'c stepped forward, "ValaMalDoran, why…."

"It's Jackson, Muscles. Don't you all look well! The last time I saw YOU," she pointed to Cam, "you were living on PRQ-900. The silver haired Commander of the Alpha site – well, actually, more like playing with all the new ships. "And, YOU," she pointed to Sam, "Samantha, were living with Jack in Minnesota. And, YOU, Muscles, were running this facility. You'd just taken off for that wonko Hak'tyl celebration you and Ishta do every year. Daniel and I volunteered to hold the fort down while you were gone."

"What the…" An older, equally gray haired, Daniel rushed into the Gateroom. "Holy buckets! What the hell happened?" He faced Vala, looking none to happy. "You were playing with that device again. This is all your fault. You didn't say anything, did you?"

"I barely touched the thing! I was cleaning it. Very, very dusty, that thingie. And I may have said one or two tiny things. Nothing they won't know anyway. At some point."

For the first time in many years, Samantha Carter was completely speechless with surprise.

"We need to fix this, and fast." Daniel turned towards the door.

"Jackson?"

Daniel looked over his shoulder at Mitchell, who was staring at Vala with a pointed finger, while Sam stared open mouthed and blinking.

"Oh. That." He shrugged his shoulders with a grin. "What year is it?"

"I have no idea." Mitchell offered as the team followed Daniel and Vala out of the room.

"Your time, not mine."

"Oh. 2008." Rushing forward, Mitchell caught up with Jackson. "Hey, man what time is it in your world?"

"Time to get you home. No questions. Right Sam?"

She could only nod.

"2008! Really? Well, things have changed." Vala hooked her arm with Sam's and hugged the arm close. "I never get to see enough of you. As you know, well, not really, but Daniel's always dragging me off on some old dig on some distasteful planet. No treasures, no shoe stores, no Victoria's Secret."

"Vala, enough!"

"ValaJackson, you have cut your hair." Teal'c was rewarded with a 'stop encouraging her' glower from Daniel.

"Yes," Vala sighed. "Not much though. It was Sam's idea. Oops." She added at Daniel's threatening look. "It's so wiry now. I dyed it once, but I looked so much younger than Daniel, it was absurd. But you…" Another scowl had her fingers to her lips in a gesture of zipping it up.

The troop remained silent for a moment.

"I'm cooking dinner, care to join us?" Vala, unable to remain quiet, offered something safe.

"Cookin'?" Cam couldn't get his head around this situation.

"Yes. There's no cook on the base now, not really any…"

"Vala!"

"Daniel, we have that lovely machine Sam invented. We can wipe out this memory."

"Vala, please just shut up."

"He hasn't changed a bit!" Vala grinned. "And he has arthritis in his right hip, but I just keep healing it with that old Goa'uld device. By the way, where are we?"

"Jackson's out with SG-3. You're getting your annual physical."

Vala shivered. "So how **is **Carolyn?"

"Fine, I guess."

"Really, Cameron, you…"

The squeal of children's laughter and running feet stopped them in their tracts.

Three youngsters raced around the corner and came to a sudden halt. Two sets of blue eyes opened wide, and the little scamp with the dark eyes, frowned with a feral glint.

Vala pointed. "Grandkids. Mine, mine – well mine and Daniel's, and one of Muscles'."

Sam finally found her voice. "Holy Hannah!"


	10. Lesson Ten

Lessons Never Learned –

**Lessons Never Learned – **

Spacegypsy1

**Lesson Ten - Never Kiss a Gift…ah…on the Mouth**

A/N: Rated PG. It's a little longer than the rest. And a special thanks to Mrs.Pollifax! For the beta.

It was a large yurt, reminiscent of the Abydonians, the Hak'tyl and the Shavadai, but much more richly appointed. Tribal rugs, elaborate pillows and silken pallets piled with ornate covers and exotic furs were spread around the interior. 

Vala grinned appreciatively as the foursome stopped just inside the yurt.

Sam felt uncomfortable in her dirty BDU's - and there was a decidedly peculiar frown on her face.

"I guess the locals consider us honored guests. This place is real swanky." Mitchell unhooked his P-90 and set it on a gold inlayed wooden table, just inside the doorway. 

Finger pointing in succession, Vala counted the sleeping pallets, disappointed to find five. _There will be no accidentally sleeping with Daniel tonight. _She let out a disgruntled sigh.

"What princess? This place is just your style." Mitchell started forward, but his advance was quickly stopped with an arm across his chest.

"Cam. Boots. They're covered in mud. Look at this." Sam indicated the opulence with a sweep of her hand. "Maybe we should clean up a bit?"

"Right." The Colonel jabbed a finger behind him. "I'll just go check with Jackson and see if he can find out where the local bathhouse is." 

"You seem uncomfortable, ColonelCarter." Teal'c, hand holding back the tent flap, had yet to fully enter.

"It reminds me of Shavadai." With a distasteful grimace, Sam stepped backwards out of the yurt.

"Well, I think it's marvelous!" Vala followed Sam out, brushing at the dried mud on her BDUs.

xxxxxx

Daniel sat cross-legged by the fire in the center of the village, surrounded by the tribal Elders, two men and three women. The women kept eyeing him and giggling. 

His face hurt from grinning as the Council tried unsuccessfully to learn his language. It'd been a long time since he'd sat like this, around a fire, stars thick in the night sky, doing what he loved best. Teaching. Learning. Speaking an ancient language. One of the Elders kept patting him on the back and thanking him for ridding them of the Ori soldiers, and they would not listen when he tried to tell them it wasn't him alone, but his team who'd won the long battle. 

The council fire blazed late into the night as the villagers celebrated all around them. Hours had passed since Mitchell and Teal'c had been sent off with one of the female Elders towards a small tent erected over a hot springs, and Daniel still chuckled at what that scene must have been. Both Teal'c and Mitchell, as part of the honored guests, were treated to a bath with thirteen of the tribe's most eligible women.

Some time later, both men, dressed in clean tribal robes, had passed by, headed for the guest quarters. Teal'c looked serene and comfortable, and Mitchell looked like he just wrestled a bear.

It had taken Daniel quite a while to glean information on the ritual associated with the women of his team. Just about an hour ago he'd seen both Vala and Sam, surrounded by a troop of older women, being led by the Elder woman to the red tent far off from the rest of the village.

xxxxxx

Her skin itched and Vala longed for her turn at being bathed and anointed with oils. 

She sat dejected on a stack of pillows as the women fussed over Samantha and her blond hair. 

Once clean, Sam tried to refuse the silk robes, but in the end realized that they were much better than her dirty BDUs. Vala laughed as the Colonel recounted her adventures on Simarka with the boy named Abu.

The Elder woman chatted in her odd language and, with many hand gestures and much innuendo, she and Vala seemed to be communicating. 

As Sam dressed, the Elder kept indicated someone tall and broad and then she circled a spot on her forehead and grinned, pointing to Sam.

"Oh. Oh no!" Vala laughed, shaking her head.

The Elder frowned and thought a moment before indicating a shorter man, crinkling her own eyes and pinching the skin around them. 

Vala's head went back with laughter. "Mitchell? No." She shook her head so emphatically that her own pigtails slapped her face.

With a look of consternation, the woman held out her palms as if to say, 'then who?' Vala pointed towards the sky, and the woman nodded in understanding.

Then the woman began an elaborate sequence of gestures and words directed to Vala, ending with fingers about her eyes signifying Daniel's glasses.

Vala grinned, pulling her cupped hands to her chest, scrunching her shoulders and nodding. "Ah, yes, Daniel. I adore him!"

The Elder dismissed all but a handful of the women, and she and the others paraded a sleepy, relaxed Sam out of the red yurt.

While the water was changed in the elaborate tub, Vala patiently anticipated the long, hot, oil scented bath. She watched the young men carry the tub out. Removing her boots and socks, Vala pulled her knees to her chest and waited. "This could take a while."

xxxxxx

Judging by the stars, the night would soon be over. Excitement had kept him awake, and even now, as it appeared the council was breaking up, Daniel felt energized. The Elder woman who had left the circle returned, taking his hand and guiding him through the village. He looked around, finding that no one else followed. 

"What? No gaggle of women for me?" He laughed, and the Elder eyed him in question. He'd had the good sense to speak in English. Switching to the ancient language, so much like Abydonian it made his heart ache, he told her quietly, "I asked where we are going."

She smiled so sweetly, Daniel could not help but respond with a broad grin. "A gift." The woman answered and he followed intrigued. They did not go to the bathhouse as he expected, but instead he was led to a small sweat lodge where the two male Elders awaited.

When the woman returned nearly thirty minutes later, Daniel had adorned rich blue robes, and he followed her again just as the first pink of dawn lit the horizon. Pulling back the tent flap, the woman gestured him inside the red yurt. What he saw stopped him in his tracks and he stared, wide-eyed and mesmerized.

The opening dropped closed behind him. Vala, naked back to him, turned her head, while she had one foot in the steaming tub. Her face held a strange expression, and an arm crossed her chest. "Daniel?" 

"Ahm…ah…sorry." He pivoted, feeling the need to run. When his head poked out of the tent, the Elder frowned. 

"Your gift. You do not like it?"

"Umm…yes. Of course. Of course." He ducked back inside keeping his face averted from the tub. This was all too familiar, and he fought to squelch the panic. 

He knew she settled into the water from the sounds that filled the room. The scent of jasmine wafted around him.

xxxxxx

"Where's Vala?" Mitchell looked up from his card game with Teal'c as Sam entered.

"Waiting up for us?" Sam grinned.

"Yeah, you missed your curfew, you're grounded." 

Teal'c stood. "ColonelCarter, you look lovely in your…"

Sam held up a warning finger and Teal'c nodded, sitting once again. Mitchell ducked his head smirking. "Cam," she warned.

"Okay, back to the original question. Where's Vala?"

"Being pampered. I'm sleepy." Sam chose a pallet and settled into it with a heavy sigh.

"We're not waiting up for her?"

"Mmm. Not me. Where's Daniel?"

"DanielJackson remains with the Council of Elders."

Sam's soft breathing had both of them smiling. Mitchell tossed his cards on the thick rug. "Yeah, I guess it's time to get a little shut-eye." He yawned, trying to right the fabric of his much-hated outfit.

"Good night, ColonelMitchell." Teal'c rose and went to the entrance, pulling back the flap and watching the soft sunrise filter through the trees. His eyes wandered across the quiet deserted village to the dying embers of the council fire before coming to rest on the red tent in the distance.

xxxxxx

"Daniel, stop being silly; you've seen me naked before. Come and wash my back." Vala's head rested against the tub. When he didn't move she smiled. "Alright, but the least you can do is hand me that little pail so I can wash my hair."

Eyes averted, he held the pail out.

"Daniel."

He had no idea what possessed him, but he turned.

The intensity of his blue eyes was startling, and she held her breath a moment to recover. As if she could cleanse the memory of that look from her soul, Vala dumped a pail of water over her head, took the soap and lathered her thick mane, sputtering when the suds burned her eyes.

Her hands went out wildly, seeking the towel she'd left on the side of the tub. She found it attached to his hand. As she wiped at her face, she felt his hand take her neck and guide her head back. The pail pinged against the side of the brass tub before she felt the warm water run through her hair. With a deep trusting sigh she relaxed in his hand.

He kept his eyes on her hair as he methodically rinsed the suds long past the need to do so. Then one wayward glance he could not stop burned in his head like the fires of Celestis. At last, coming to some sense of normality, he stopped, setting the pail aside and stood up behind her.

Vala looked over her shoulder, her eyes lifting to his and finding them still too intense to hold. "Join me?" her throaty whisper begged. She turned away, not wanting to see the rejection that would cloud the blue orbs.

The rustle of clothing was unmistakable. Her breath caught in her throat, Vala waited nervously. When he stepped in behind her, she scooted forward with a deep sigh. 

He pulled her back against his chest, smoothing the dark wet hair from her face. "Better?" He asked softly.

"Much." Again she sighed, resting one palm on each of his thighs.

He turned her face to his, placing his mouth lightly on her grinning lips.

xxxxxx

"Okay, we're missin' one archeologist and one former thief." Mitchell shook his BDU pants out the doorway, and then donned them under his robe before removing it. Shrugging into his black T-shirt, Cam frowned, eyeing Daniel's and Vala's vests.

Teal'c, already dressed, opened his eyes from meditation. "Perhaps they came and have already left."

"Sam! Wake up, sleepy-head, time to rise and shine." Cam shook her shoulder.

With a dreamy smile, Sam's eyes fluttered open. "Hmm?" Sitting up, she blinked the sleep from her eyes. 

"Come on. Upsie-daisy," Cam hauled her up. 

Both Cam and Teal'c turned away, busying themselves with mundane tasks as she changed.

"Look, guys, we need to go. We'll spread out and locate them. Landry's expecting us within the hour." Mitchell closed his vest. "Let's go."

"I will check the red tent." Teal'c stood and made for the door.

"Fine. Sam, you check with the Elders, me, I'm gonna canvas the village."

Ducking through the opening the three set out. 

xxxxxx

Quietly and very slowly, Teal'c separated the flap of the red tent. There they were, entwined under the furs. ValaMalDoran's head lay upon his chest, and DanielJackson's arm held her there. Teal'c let the flap close, standing like a sentry at the entrance. 

Though they had become close, like brothers, there had always been the ghost of Sha're between himself and DanielJackson. But, recently, Teal'c had witnessed great love and joy between ValaMalDoran and his friend - for more than fifty years. He knew it was not ValaMalDoran his friend did not trust. He loved her, but did not trust his own heart. That seemed to have changed. A smile drifted briefly across his face. "DanielJackson!" He called.


	11. Lesson Eleven

Lessons Never Learned –

**Lessons Never Learned – **

Spacegypsy1

**Lesson Eleven – I Say Goodbye, You Say Hello**

**A/N: I know that I frequently use D or V's injury as a platform from which to launch some admission. Here's another one. A bit angsty in the beginning. But what a perfect arena to knock some sense into him!**

**xxxxx**

"I've been thinking."

Dull eyes opened. "Really? You…" he coughed, "…thinking?"

"Ha-ha, very funny, Daniel." Vala shined her light towards his face and saw his struggle to grin.

"So…what…thinking?" His head went back against the hunk of metal that had once been part of some building.

"Samantha and Muscles will be back any minute. Remember? They went to the Stargate for help?"

He mumbled something, fighting to stay focused.

"You shouldn't sleep." Vala wiped the blood that continued to ooze from his head. For a second her eyes, fat with tears, lifted to Cameron, who worked to staunch the flow of blood from Daniel's chest. Her gaze came back to the face she loved. "Stay awake, Daniel. I need you. Stay awake. They'll be here soon. I promise."

"'kay." His eyes fluttered closed.

"Daniel? Daniel!? Wake up, darling. Daniel!?"

Mitchell taped the chest wound as best he could. "Jackson! God damn it, man!"

Vala's fingers went to the pulse point of his throat. "It's weak. It's so weak, Cameron."

"Jackson, buddy, stay with us."

"Darling, please. Open your lovely baby blues for me."

Coughing, Daniel fought hard to open his eyes. He coughed again. A lopsided smile graced his pale lips as his fevered gaze lifted to Vala. Just barely above a hoarse whisper he spoke. "Kiss me good-bye."

Mitchell's breath seemed to stop. He sat back on his heels and turned away, staring off towards the Stargate.

With a tortured gasp she told him, "No. Daniel, no."

Voice strained and filled with pain, Daniel managed to speak again. "Kiss me. Don't let me die without a kiss. It's been so long. Love you…"

Tears ran unheeded down her cheeks as she leaned, as if in slow motion, placing trembling lips, cold with fear, against his slack mouth.

"I love you," she whispered. Vala tucked her head in the crook of his neck and wept.

When she felt the hand on her shoulder, she tried to shake it off.

"Vala? Vala?"

At Sam's urgent voice, her head jerked up. Sam pulled her away from Daniel's limp body as the med team rushed forward.

"He's dying. Sam, Daniel is…"

"No! They'll get him back in time. They will." Sam held Vala aside as they carried him out.

**xxxxx**

Still in civvies after four weeks, Daniel wandered into Sam's lab.

"Hey, you're looking good." She smiled. It was the truth, even if he still looked a bit gaunt and was a few weeks away from returning to active duty.

"Tell me something." He propped his six on her desk.

"Sure."

"What did I do?"

"What do you mean?"

"Vala. She's …somehow…she seems …different."

"I'm not sure I understand."

"Yes you do." Although he frowned, it held a bit of brotherly love.

"Alright. Have a seat." She indicated a chair and he took it, relaxing into it easily.

"So?"

"So, you asked for a kiss goodbye. AND, you said the L word. Which, by the way, she thinks you were only saying because you were delirious, but…it's a big one. She's in love with you. She nearly lost you; she's pulling back…sound familiar? She doesn't … where are you going?"

Daniel stood and walked towards the door. "I heard all I needed to hear."

"Daniel. Please wait."

"Sam," he said from the doorway. "I've got to go talk to her. I thought I'd dreamed that while I was…well you know, it was rough. But I remember her there by the bed all that time, afterward. And when I did finally come around, she skittered off and has barely said one word to me. I know how to fix this."

Surprised, Sam asked, "You do? How?"

Hands in jeans pockets, he grinned. "I need to apologize..."

"No. Wait. Give it some…."

"Apologize for waiting so damned long. For waiting until I thought I was going to die, thinking I was never going to see her again, before I realized how strongly I feel."

With a big grin, Sam rushed to him, hugged him, kissing his cheek. "Good. I love you too, but…"

"Yeah. Me too." He hugged her close, "Sam. Let me go, before I chicken out."

"Right, go."

**xxxxx**

He found her sitting alone at a table in the otherwise crowded mess hall. "Hey."

"Hello. Feeling good today?"

"Very." He didn't sit, just smiled down at her.

"So. That's good." Propping her elbow on the table, Vala dropped her chin to the top of one hand and fiddled with her plate of fruit. She shoved the peach slices around, arranged the strawberries in order of size and picked up a kiwi slice, flopping it to and fro.

"Take a walk with me?"

"Oh, I don't know, Daniel, I'm very tired. And hungry." She stuffed the kiwi in her mouth and followed up with a whole strawberry just to be sure there was no room in there for talking.

"Please."

Vala chewed slowly, staring at the hand that had appeared in front of her in invitation. It took her a minute to figure out what to do. She spit the strawberry top into his hand. "Thanks."

He burst out laughing, and the sound squeezed her heart until she couldn't even think, much less speak.

Dumping the debris from his hand, Daniel reached and pulled hers right out from under her chin, dragging her up and pulling her behind him.

"Well. I suppose I COULD take a walk." He'd certainly gotten his strength back, she thought as he tugged her along.

He didn't say another word as he walked beside her, his fingers entwined with hers.

"Where are we going?" The silence was driving her wonko.

"Out for a drive."

"You can drive?"

"Yep. I can do anything physical I want to."

"Really?"

"Oh, yeah."

"Where are we driving to?"

"I have no idea. We'll know when we get there."

"What direction are we taking?"

"What direction do you want to take?"

Vala pulled her lips between her teeth and thought long and hard about that one. "A new direction."

"Forward?" He stopped in front of the elevator doors, eyes straight ahead.

She ducked her head and looked away before turning back with determination. "Yes."

"You're sure?" This time he turned to look at her face.

"You're not?" She bit her lip in worry, brows scrunched.

"I am." He squeezed her hand.

"Me too." She grinned, delighted.

Daniel combed his fingers through her hair, cupping her neck and bringing her face close. His mouth sealed with hers, and she moaned.

The elevator doors slid open, and someone got out. "Well this is different."

Daniel rushed Vala into the elevator. "Hi, Jack." He punched the top floor. "Bye, Jack."


	12. Lesson Twelve

**Lessons Never Learned – **

Spacegypsy1

**Lesson Twelve – Expect the Unexpected – Rated slightly over PG for insinuation. **

**xxxxxx**

Standing at the door to her quarters, Daniel heard the unmistakable music of _2001, A Space Odyssey_. Shaking his head, he knocked.

"Hello? It's open."

She didn't turn, eyes squinting and face scrunched in apparent confusion, Vala watched the screen.

"Ready?" Hands deep in his pockets, Daniel waited.

"What?"

"We're leaving. Remember, birthday dinner…you, me, the team?"

"Oh!" She jumped up and kissed him full on the lips. A not-so-chaste kiss he felt clear to his toes. "Sorry, I think I'll pass. I really need to watch this again. I'm so confused." She paused the movie and handed him a gaily wrapped present. "Here, darling. Happy Birthday. Let me know when you get back, I'll join you for cake." With a quick, practiced flick of the remote, she started the movie again, sat on the edge of the bed and ignored him.

Well, he wasn't actually hurt, but he was surprised. Disappointed, maybe? He left without a word, a little puzzled by her decision.

**xxxxxx**

He'd laughed, enjoyed the evening of food, drinks and surprisingly nice gifts – when he'd expected silly. But he'd missed her presence even if he hid it well. There was a decidedly empty feel to the table. A laugh, painfully, obviously absent. And, really, why didn't she come? He'd asked her, plainly indicating he considered it another date. Not that he wanted to go public after two dinners, a few movies and one hand holding. Nope, not that.

"So, what's in the other box?" Sam pointed at the small gift, wrapped in children's multi-colored giraffe paper, with an oversized riot of ribboned bow on top.

"Oh, it's from Vala." Daniel answered absentmindedly.

Sam's smile beamed. "Aren't you going to open it?"

"Sure." Daniel smiled back, grabbing the box from the pile of paper littering the center of the table.

"Whoa! Wait a minute, birthday-boy. Let's guess." Hand on Daniel's arm, Cam looked around the table. Teal'c bowed, and Sam's smile grew wider.

Cam picked up the box, flipping it every which way. "I say it's an ancient coin she stole from you at some point." He passed the box to Teal'c.

"Perhaps ValaMalDoran has purchased jewelry from eBay. She has often spoken about her wish that DanielJackson would pierce his ear."

Heads snapping around in unison, Daniel, Mitchell and Sam blurted out together, "What!?"

Teal'c set the box on the table in front of Sam with that head tilt that indicated he had nothing else to say.

"Ah…I lost count of the times she asked me what to get you. She wanted something special, but everything she suggested was a bit…"

"…a bit?" Cam prompted.

"You know, strange."

"Strange like what?" Daniel asked, thinking how Vala had stopped with all the sexual innuendo…and how much he missed it.

"Stuffed toys, old movies, tickets to Egypt, a 2,000.00 painting of the goddess Hathor, which I laughed at, but I swear, Daniel, I didn't say a word."

He smiled, hiding his disappointment. "So what do you think it is?"

Sam eyed the box, perplexed. "Something well thought out. She's been thinking about this for weeks. I don't know. I suppose it could be simple, like cuff links. A tie pin. Something expensive I'm sure."

"Yeah, Jackson, have you checked your credit card bill lately?"

"She doesn't use my card anymore." He sounded so disenchanted over the statement, the others looked surprised.

"Open it." Sam slid the box in front of Daniel.

The bow was carefully removed, going straight into his jacket pocket. The paper methodically un-taped and unfolded. A non-descript white rectangular box emerged from the childish paper. Daniel's eyes lifted to Sam, cut to Teal'c and finally Mitchell. All three waited expectantly. He dropped his gaze back to the box. Using his thumbs he lifted two corners and took a private peek.

He turned so red, the other three blinked in surprise. Daniel snatched the box up an instant before Mitchell got his hands on it. "Thanks," was all he said as he dashed out of the restaurant.

Cam was laughing. "I'd take a week of bein' grounded from flyin' to see what was in that box!"

"Humph! I'd take a week's vacation off base!" Sam smiled, turning to Teal'c.

"While I am most interested, I believe DanielJackson intends it to remain a mystery."

"Teal'c, buddy, come on, you know you…"

"A week locked in a cell, next to RichardWoolsey, followed by a week of fishing with O'Neill."

**xxxxxx**

In the cab, Daniel lifted the lid of the box to be sure he'd given the driver the correct address. Still red as a beet, he grinned as he stared in wonder at the Hershey's chocolate kiss, a condom and a room key card from the swankiest hotel in town.


	13. Lesson Thirteen

**Lessons Never Learned – **

Spacegypsy1

**Lesson Thirteen – Whisper: ****Soft speech produced without full voice. Something uttered very softly. A secretly or surreptitiously expressed belief.**

**No Warnings – yep that says it all.**

**xxxxxx**

Daniel relaxed, his six propped on the picnic table, beer in hand and laughter in his eyes. General Landry was recounting the night he and Mitchell had almost killed each other, when they'd been alone at Jack's cabin.

"The power went out. I heard something and when Mitchell didn't answer, I grabbed my shotgun, and went to check it out. It was thundering and lightning, rain pelting the windows. Kind of eerie. I came around the corner, then Colonel Mitchell…"

"Naw, General, I was already standin' there." Cam grinned.

"…so you were, son. I came around the corner, Mitchell swung around and I came face to face with him and his hand gun pointed at me and his eyes round as saucers. I nearly got my head shot off!"

Everyone on the deck was laughing. Even Teal'c grinned, turning from the grill where he cooked the steaks.

Siler pulled beers from the cooler, handing them out to Walter, Dr. Lam and Colonel Reynolds.

"I think the best story is the bird call." Cam took a swig of beer.

"I don't think so." General Landry deadpanned.

"Ah, yes sir." With a salute from his beer bottle, Cam grinned.

Carrying a stack of plates from the house, Sam set them on the picnic table.

Daniel looked up, a questioning tilt of eyebrows directed at her. "Where's Vala?"

Confused, Sam eyed him, "I thought she was out here with you?"

"Nope, she said she was going in to help out. Maybe I should go check on her; she's been gone for nearly twenty minutes." He was frowning at the door as he spoke. "Yeah, I'll just go check." Daniel set his beer on the table and entered Sam's house.

"What's that all about?" Cam tossed down the rest of his beer.

"I don't know. They've both been acting strange lately. Daniel's been keeping an eye on her all day. And Vala's been awfully quiet. I thought they might be fighting…again."

"Yeah, I noticed that too." Cam crossed his arms. "I thought it was just another day of cranky archeologist and love sick puppy. I don't know…somethin's up, I can feel it."

Sam and Mitchell exchanged curious looks before both took a quick look at General Landry. The General was staring at the door where Daniel had disappeared, a decidedly peculiar frown on his face.

xxxxxx

As Daniel turned the corner down the hall, Vala came out of the bathroom, looking pale and worried.

"Hey, what is it? What's wrong?" He took her face in his hands. "Vala?"

"Well…ahm…it's…it's really quite silly. I mean not silly, but sort of…"

Neither of them heard the front door open.

"Vala?" Daniel prompted, sounding worried.

"I'm pregnant, Daniel."

"What! How!? I mean, I know how…but how? I thought you were…you know, using…"

"I am. I was. I did."

"Oh crap… did you see Carolyn?"

"Heavens no! I used one - well seven - of those little test thingies. I didn't want to go see her if it was a false cause."

"Alarm, false alarm."

"No, it's definitely not."

Daniel pulled her into his arms and rested his chin on the top of her head. He closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and grinned like a fool. But he didn't know what to say.

"Well, better late than never." Jack smiled lopsidedly when the two turned to him. He pointed to Vala's tummy. "Me, not her. I wasn't eavesdropping. But you two weren't exactly whispering in a closet either. Not that you haven't done that…something got you into this predicament. Anyway," Jack handed Daniel a case of Guinness as Vala stepped away from her lover. "Everybody's speculating you two have been…ah…seeing each other. No surprises there. Well…I guess it was a bit of a surprise for you. For cryin' out loud! Pregnant! 'No Jack, we're just good friends'." Jack mimicked in a high pitched voice. "Well, it's a damned good thing you are friends!"

Daniel's shoulders slumped and he glared at Jack. "Keep it down, Jack, you want everyone to hear?"

Holding a bag in one hand, Jack pointed to the end of the hall with the other. "Not me, but I warned you about not whispering."

Daniel turned slowly. There they were - the rest of his team, with Walter and Dr. Lam flanking them and Landry and Siler in the background.

Reynolds came up behind everyone. "Hey, what's going on? You all disappeared."

"Vala's pregnant." Walter offered with a wide eyed smile.

"Daniel's the father." Siler explained, nodding to Reynolds and indicating with fingers to thumb that he was due some financial comeuppance.

"I just got here." Jack grinned, bobbing his head to some blaring Hip-Hop music from a passing car.

Sam just said, "Holy…"

Mitchell added, "mother…"

And Teal'c quickly added, "of …" but then paused, a huge grin on his face.

There was a short silence before General Landry sighed loudly, "… god!"


	14. Lesson Fourteen

Spacegypsy1

**Lesson Fourteen: Lesson Learned**

0400 – Cheyenne Mountain

Airman Baxter looked up to see Dr. Jackson exit the elevator in jeans, black T-shirt and whistling the theme to Indiana Jones. She smiled. "Good morning, sir."

"Morning Airman." Daniel nodded and headed down the hall.

Katie Baxter admired his six until he disappeared.

Daniel continued to whistle while he wondered if he should go to the locker room and change first, or take care of what had kept him awake all night. The words spoken so eloquently right before he left the base last evening played over and over in his head, complemented by the song he whistled.

He exited the elevator on level 22 and headed down the deserted corridor towards her quarters. Standing in front of her door he stopped whistling, grinned and gathered his courage. He knew what the scene behind the door would be. She'd be asleep in some bizarre sleepwear, ranging from skimpy to bunny suit, that ridiculous mask over her eyes; her hair would be a riot of disorder, but her face, serene in slumber.

Grin broadening, he banged on the door. He also knew what would follow - she would tangle herself in the covers in her effort to rise; the mask would be shoved upwards, escalating the riot of hair and her eyes would be heavy with sleep and confusion. She would stumble, mumble something inappropriate and yank the door open with ...

"WHAT!!"

Oh. He'd been dead wrong.

Vala, obviously wide awake, was dressed in her original black leather bustier, complete with neck piece and straps, black leather pants belted and snug on her lithe body, hair down, uncurled but brushed to a silky sheen, large leather bag hanging on her shoulder; she scowled at him, one hand perched defiantly on her hip.

He couldn't speak. Not the scene he'd planned.

"What, Daniel? What do you want? Come to set me straight? Hmm? Come to tell me I was out of line, that I lied, that it was all a ploy meant to irritate you? Oh, no, wait, I've got it! It was my way to deal with my insecurities, how could I forget that! Get out of my way!"

"Where are you going?"

"Leaving. And don't tell me I can't, that I'm a risk, that this is my home, that I'm a part of something wonderful, that I have nowhere to go, that I'm being childish, that we can work this out, that I..."

"Vala. You were right."

"Yes, of course. Good! Surprised you didn't try to make me stay around for more torture and more of your disregard of my feelings. But, then again, this is what you've always wanted, isn't it? Me out of your hair, out of your life, out of your way..."

Vala found herself wrapped in his arms, his mouth, hot, hard and insistent on hers. Now how did that happen? She tied to speak around his lips and tongue. But her own ears only registered her moans. Her feet were moving backwards. Something strange was happening to her body. Why in the name of all the gods had she bound herself up in this ridiculous outfit? When he took a breath Vala got out a few nearly incomprehensible words. "You meant...right about…what...last night..."

She got a series of mmm's from him as his mouth took hers once again, slid to her ear in a fiery trail of wet kisses and bites, a delightful rasp of tongue at her ear, and a growl that sent her knees wobbling as other body parts burst into liquid flames.

"For god's sakes, Vala, help me get this contraption off of you before I die."

Her hands, though a bit more clumsily than she expected, made short work of the belts, buckles and laces. "What changed your mind?" Their lips still played. She had no idea what he said into her mouth as the door slammed shut.

xxxxxx

0438 - Commissary

Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell looked like hell as he stared at the runny scrambled eggs on his plate. Colonel Samantha Carter didn't look much better, but at least her hair didn't stick up from repeated fingers of annoyance combed through it. Both appeared to be sleep-deprived, and worried. Cam, too tired to cross his arms, leaned on the table for support, eyes downcast, unseeing. Sam, sitting straight up, stared blankly across the room.

Teal'c pulled out a chair and sat, a happy smile on his face. "Neither of you appear to have slept."

The two glared at the obviously well-rested Jaffa.

"How could you sleep, this is awful! He just took off. I don't think in all the years I have known him, that I've seen him so...so angry." Sam took a sip of her cold coffee and grimaced.

"And she's packed up and ready to go! She woke Landry at 0230, who in turn woke me, and he signed off on her request! She's leavin', thankfully only to the Alpha Site, but she's leavin' just the same. I don't want her to leave. We need her. She's part of the team. He's ... he's ... how the hell I'm I supposed to deal with this? Sam, I hope now that you're back, Landry puts you in charge, 'cause I reckon I'm done tryin' to make any sense of those two!"

"Oh, no. No way. Not me." Standing, Sam went to refill her coffee.

Squinting at Teal'c, Cam rubbed his tired eyes. "Listen, buddy, I'm a bit confused. Why the happy face?" Cam nodded his thanks to Sam when she set a fresh cup of coffee in front of him and retook her seat across the table.

"Yeah, Teal'c, why? We all know that you and Vala have a close bond. How can you be happy about this?"

Teal'c took a look around the room, leaned close and spoke quietly to his companions. "At 0400 I decided to speak with ValaMalDoran, concerning some information...from our time on the Odyssey." He noted the disbelieving looks from his friends. "I felt there was a greater need for revealing a very small amount of information concerning DanielJackson that would insure her remaining with SG-1, than keeping it to myself."

Cam looked at his watch. "Really?" He crossed his arms, relaxed into his chair and listened more intently.

Sam squared her shoulders, placed her elbows on the table, slowly entwined her fingers and propped her chin atop her hands. "Go on."

"As I reached her corridor, I spied DanielJackson standing at her closed door. I waited. After some time, I assume of reflection, he quite loudly knocked upon her door. ValaMalDoran almost immediately opened it, completely dressed in her traveling attire."

"The leather getup?" Cam smiled at the memory.

"Indeed."

When Teal'c remained silent, Sam's hands came out from under her chin, and she held them out in frustration. "What!? What happened?"

"ValaMalDoran told DanielJackson, in terms not to be misconstrued, that she was leaving and expressed her misunderstanding that he would be quite happy."

"Misunderstanding? What kind of misunderstanding? He walked out on her after that... well, that confession in the Gateroom before the entire team, Landry, Walter, and a platoon of SF's!"

"Indeed, ColonelMitchell."

"Teal'c, buddy, come on, give us somethin' here, we're dyin' of curiosity." Grabbing his head, Cam squeezed it, tormented. "What the hell did you tell her!?"

"I did not."

With a weary sigh, Sam asked, "Did not what?"

"I did not have an opportunity to tell her. DanielJackson sprang forward..."

"Oh my god! What did he say to her! Damn him! What did he say?" Sam's eyes went round as her mouth dropped open.

"He did not 'say' anything. Instead, DanielJackson pulled her into an embrace and kissed her. Quite passionately - from what I could see from my vantage point. Without breaking the 'lip lock', as ValaMalDoran is so fond of calling it, DanielJackson moved her backwards into her quarters. It was quite a feat; he is very dexterous and inventive. I believe he must be an excellent dancer."

Cam suddenly laughed at the Jaffa's depiction of Daniel.

Sam locked admonishing eyes on Cam a moment before turning once again to Teal'c. "Then what happened?"

"Right as I turned away, I noted part of her leather attire as it flew across the room, then the door was slammed shut."

"Ah, boy!" Sam's big blue eyes blinked in shock.

"Well kiss my gran'maw – you are kiddin' me!"

Teal'c sat back smiling from ColonelMitchell to ColonelCarter. "It appears DanielJackson has learned his lesson. Though it took much longer than I anticipated following the events of..." Teal'c stopped suddenly, eyebrow rising, and bowed apologetically to his teammates.

Cam leaned forward, "are you sayin' those two 'hooked up' on the Odyssey?"

"I said no such thing."

* * *

**End of series Lessons Never Learned-As some of you know, it's not always quite the end for me-I tend to come back and haunt/revisit series-there may be more to come sometime in the future, B**

**A/N: thanks to Mrs.Pollifax for the inspiring and incredible Beta (and all the commas). Any mistakes are most definitely mine! Also, Thanks Bug! For reading and spewing and giving me headaches from laughing. And many thanks to all for the reviews and comments. **


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